


(I Know We're Lost but) Soon We'll Be Found

by hopeneverdies



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Lots of Crying, Louis and Harry as dads, M/M, Marriage, future!fic, i'm sure there's something i'm forgetting, injury to a character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 19:39:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11214900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeneverdies/pseuds/hopeneverdies
Summary: “Fuck, Haz, pick up!” He literally shouted into his phone.  The trembling in his voice matching the shaking of his hands.  After the fourth ring he was sent to voice mail.  He wasn’t sure if Harry was already on his flight or if he was just ignoring Louis’ call but all he knew was that their little girl needed her fathers and nothing else mattered at that moment.“Harry, this is an emergency!  Please call me back!  There’s been an accident and Junie is hurt.  She’s at St. Andrew’s.  I’m on my way there right now.  Christ, I really wish I knew what time your flight was supposed to leave!”By the time he finished the message he could feel the pressure of salty tears building behind his eyes.  A few minutes later he pulled into the hospital car park and rushed through the emergency room doors.************Or the canon compliant future fic where Harry and Louis are experiencing some marital complications that leaves them both angry with one another and worried about their future.  When their young daughter suffers a potentially serious injury that keeps Harry from flying to California for his job, it serves as a reminder of how much they still need and love each other.





	(I Know We're Lost but) Soon We'll Be Found

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure what this fic is, to be honest. It started out one night when I was trying to write another fic and found myself having a terrible case of writer's block. I happened to be listening to music at the time and the song "Soon We'll Be Found" by Sia came on. It's one of my favorite songs and suddenly I just had an idea for a Larry drabble based on that song. I didn't think I'd ever post it, or even finish it for that matter, but here it is, several months later, finished. So I thought, why the hell not post it? I highly suggest you go listen to the song first or while you're reading it.
> 
> Just a warning that this hasn't been beta'd or brit picked. So forgive me if it's a mess. 
> 
> Also, this is a future fic that is canon compliant, however, Louis' mother is mentioned in the fic because I wrote much of the story before her death and it just felt right to keep her in it.
> 
> Also, I am not in the medical profession, so I'm sorry if I made any mistakes regarding medical condition/terminology.
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! Thanks for reading!!

“Lou, I’m done arguing. Please, let’s just go to bed.”

 

“Why can’t you just answer me, Haz? I asked you one fucking question.” 

 

Harry sighed. “No. You picked a fight with me at one in the morning, after I already explained the situation to you. There’s nothing left to say tonight. I’m going to get some sleep for my trip. We can discuss this in the morning.” Harry slid his gray sweatpants off and yanked his white v-neck tee over his head dropping it to the floor, before he pulled the blankets and sheet down to slip into his side of the bed.

 

An audible scoff left his husband’s mouth. “I can’t believe you’re doing this. I can’t believe we’re going to bed before settling an argument. We swore we’d never do that Harry. We never have, not even during the worst times.”

 

Harry didn’t like the issue at hand any more than Louis did. His acting job was keeping him away from their home just outside of London, and in the United States, more than it was supposed to when he originally signed on for it. Louis was left behind to keep things in order, which meant working extra hours at the up-and-coming record label they co-owned, songwriting with various artists and writers, as well as driving their six year old son, Elijah, to and from school, football practice, and piano lessons. Then there was their three year old daughter, June, whose needs must be met as well. It was hard on all of them and it was starting to cause a strain on Harry and Louis’ marriage. No, not starting to, it was causing strain on it and Harry felt helpless, because he signed a contract for a Netflix Original television series and the streaming service ordered double the episodes for season one than had first been planned. Then he felt guilty because he really loved his role as a nineteenth century bisexual tailor working for a religious aristocratic family, which made him really excited to shoot eight more episodes, despite having to be away from his family. So when his husband of eight years asked him an hour earlier if he would rather be here in England, or in Los Angeles, Harry tried to give a roundabout answer and it clearly wasn’t the answer Louis had wanted to hear. He had been honest though, because he really wished he could be in both places at once. At this point, he was exhausted, and just wanted to forget about their problems and rest for awhile. He rolled over onto his right side, away from the icy stare of blue eyes.

 

A moment later he felt a still clothed body join him in bed, their bums slightly brushing up against one another, but otherwise no touches between them, no goodnight kiss, no spooning, no gentle fingers running through his curly brown hair. How had things gotten so fucked up in such a short time? 

 

Harry pondered the past few months, knowing Louis was likely doing the same behind him, before gradually drifting off into dreamland. He awoke to the sound of a beeping alarm clock six hours later.

 

“Lou, hit the bloody snooze button,” he called out groggily. The beeping continued, getting louder by the second. “Lou? Lou?” Harry finally managed to turn over and see that the bed was empty beside him. He reached across to the alarm clock on the bedside table, turning it off with an awkward slap. Rubbing his eyes with his fists like a child, he listened closely but heard no sound in the house other than the sound of his own breathing. 

 

He quickly jumped out of bed, threw on his sweatpants, and made his way downstairs to the kitchen, which was empty. He looked at the clock on the microwave to make sure he was correct about the time. It was just after eight, which usually meant a bustling house, so why was it empty now? He called out for both his husband and his son but received no answer. He checked June’s room but she was gone too. It was only when he returned to the kitchen that he noticed a note on the front of the refrigerator, a Florida shaped magnet, picked up at Disney World the previous summer, holding it up.

 

_H,_

_If you were home more you would’ve remembered that we were scheduled to meet with Eli’s teacher before school today. I took June with me too. Dropping her off at nursery school before I go to the studio to check in on the punk band we signed a couple months back. Won’t be back before you leave._

_L_

 

The words stung. No _I love you_ , no _have a safe flight_ , no _call me when you get to Cali_. It was bitter and Harry knew Louis was still angry. Always angry. To be honest, he was angry too. Angry at Louis for his belligerence and angry at himself for not caring as much as he probably should. 

 

He made his way back upstairs to shower. Afterward, he dressed in a comfortable powder blue jumper and black jeans, pulled his nearly shoulder length curls up into a bun, grabbed his favorite warm black trench coat along with a beanie and his suitcase, and waited outside for his taxi to arrive. The brisk February wind bit his nose and cheeks, and the scent of impending snow filled the air. He hoped it would hold off long enough for his flight to take off on time. His soul could use some California sunshine.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Louis sat in the chair watching the recently signed punk band, Futile Hush, record a song for their upcoming debut album. The session was going well, but he was barely listening, too distracted by his own thoughts to focus.

 

He was losing his husband. He could feel it and it scared him nearly to death. Louis thought back to the days where they had been forcibly closeted by their management when One Direction was one of the biggest bands on the planet. There had been times back then when he had worried they wouldn’t be able to get through it. There were times when they nearly hadn’t, when fake girlfriends and constant lies would wear on them and lead them to occasional breakdowns. Yet, they had persevered and when they finally gained their freedom almost a decade earlier they never thought they would have to suffer again. The last few months had proven that wrong.

 

It hadn’t been like Harry to choose work over his family. He had been there the day Louis won a Golden Globe for writing the Best Original Song that played over the title credits of a World War II romance movie. He had been there when Eli played his first year of football and started his first day of school. He had been there when June first said the words Dada and Papa and when they celebrated her third birthday with a unicorn themed party. He was there when Louis lost his grandfather last September, the only true father figure Louis ever had in thirty-six years of living.

 

It wasn’t like Harry hadn’t worked prior to three months ago. He had. He and Louis worked hard on securing artists for their record label and writing music. Harry had built up a respectable acting resume and even earned a few awards. They both had released some successful solo music and One Direction was still touring every couple years and were in the early stages of writing for a new album, even though their bandmates, Liam and Niall, were both touring solo albums at present. Despite all of that they had tried really hard to work close to home most of the time, and the band only toured during the summer so they could all take their families on the road too. Harry’s new Netflix show was a different experience, because even though it was set in London, it mostly filmed in a studio in LA. It was rare for him to get more than three days off at a time. He would come home for a couple days and then go back for a week, sometimes two, and it was a cycle that repeated itself over and over. 

 

Louis’ patience was wearing thin. To make matters worse, when Harry was home he seemed distracted. Their sex life was floundering and it wasn’t for Louis’ lack of trying and he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe the man he’d loved since he was eighteen was now in love with someone else. Maybe it wasn’t just a job in California. Perhaps it was another man. 

 

He tried to push the dread out of his mind when his phone rang in his pocket.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Is this Mr. Tomlinson?” A mousy female voice asked on the other end of the line.

 

“Yes. Who is this?” It had been a long time since Louis had received a call from a stalker but he always felt a little uneasy when he didn’t recognize the voice of someone ringing him.

 

“This is Lena Stewart, the nurse at Old Bridge Nursery School.”

 

Louis’ throat tightened. “Yes? Is everything okay with June?”

 

“Mr. Tomlinson, I’m afraid your daughter slipped on a patch of ice while playing outside. She hit her head pretty hard on the pavement and we had to call out an ambulance.”

 

He stood up and made his way to the door, pausing in the hallway to lean against the cream colored wall filled with pictures of the various musicians who had recorded at the studio before. “Is she okay?”

 

“She was unconscious,” the nurse continued, “and she’s now on her way to St. Andrew’s hospital. I’m very sorry to be the bearer of bad news. It was an accident.”

 

“Th-thanks,” was all he could spit out before hanging up. He bolted down the hall and out to his awaiting Range Rover in the car park. He unlocked the door, jumped in, and sped off toward the hospital before he could even get his seat belt on. He drove far faster than the legal speed limit, one hand on the wheel, the other hand dialing his husband’s phone number. He waited for Harry to answer with each buzz.

 

“Fuck, Haz, pick up!” He literally shouted into his phone. The trembling in his voice matching the shaking of his hands. After the fourth ring he was sent to voice mail. He wasn’t sure if Harry was already on his flight or if he was just ignoring Louis’ call but all he knew was that their little girl needed her fathers and nothing else mattered at that moment. 

 

_“Harry, this is an emergency. Please call me back. There’s been an accident and Junie is hurt. She’s at St. Andrew’s. I’m on my way there right now. Christ, I really wish I knew what time your flight was supposed to leave!”_

 

By the time he finished the message he could feel the pressure of salty tears building behind his eyes. A few minutes later he pulled into the hospital car park and rushed through the emergency room doors.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Harry was in the airport restroom when he received the call from Louis. He was thankful he had felt a weird urge to check his voice mail before boarding his flight despite not wanting to discuss last night’s argument with Louis again that morning. Now he was sprinting down the hospital hallway to their daughter’s room. He had called Louis back instantly only to find out that June had been taken in for a cat scan on her head. She was still unconscious. That had been an hour ago and since then no news. He tried to push the fear out of his brain as he searched for room 284 in the pediatric intensive care unit, all while feeling the stare of strangers’ eyes upon him. When he finally got to the door, he knocked lightly before opening the door a crack and peeking in. Louis glanced up, looking completely wrecked, as he sat at their daughter’s bedside. Their eyes met and he saw his husband take a sigh of relief at the sight of him. 

 

Harry stepped into the room and Louis met him with an immediate embrace, the older man’s arms wrapping around Harry’s shoulders, thumbs digging into his back, like almost every embrace they had shared over the past sixteen years. Yet this embrace felt different. It felt desperate like they couldn’t possibly survive without the other one’s touch at that moment. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d felt like that.

 

“How is she?” Harry asked as he finally pulled back from Louis enough to look down at their daughter who was sleeping, wires hooked up to various places on her body, her long brown hair splayed across the pillow. A chill passed through his body at the sight and a lone tear streamed down his face. He sat down on the edge of her bed, as Louis took a chair next to him, and he leaned over to give June a light peck on her right cheek. 

 

“She has a concussion,” Louis responded, “and she had a seizure right before her cat scan. So the doctor is keeping an eye on her to make sure it doesn’t happen again. She hasn’t woken up yet and that’s a little worrisome, but they expect she will soon. They didn’t detect any brain damage in the scan so that’s really good news. They’re being cautious though with the diagnoses, until they can examine her after she wakes up.”

 

“That make sense,” Harry answered with a glance over his shoulder toward Louis. “At least it sounds promising.”

 

Louis nodded. Harry thought the other man looked worn, and not just because of the current situation with their daughter. He had noticed it more often lately, that Louis was showing his age a bit more. It wasn’t like he was old, because 36 wasn’t old, but every once in a while Harry would notice a gray hair or two in Louis’ beard or along his hairline, and the wrinkles under his eyes were a bit more noticeable than they had been even six months earlier. He was still beautiful, had always been, and would always be, but Harry couldn’t help but wonder if he himself had been contributing to the sudden changes in his husband’s appearance. He hadn’t been there and Louis had taken so much on by himself. In years past it was usually Harry taking on too many responsibilities at home and Louis begging him to relax. 

 

“You okay?” 

 

A hint of a smile showed on Louis’ face before it disappeared and his gaze shifted to their daughter, almost as if he was afraid to let his eyes hold Harry’s for longer than a second. “I’ll be okay. Would you mind if I go get a cuppa? I’ll only be gone for a few minutes. I need to call Fizzy and see if she could pick Eli up from school.”

 

“No, of course. I’ll stay here with Junie so one of us is here if she wakes up. Did you call our mums?”

 

“Not yet. I was waiting on more information from the doctor first but I can call them too. Can I get you anything?”

 

Harry shook his head. “No thank you. I’m fine.”

 

With that Louis stood up and left the room, his left hand barely brushing Harry’s right knee as he passed by the bed. Harry didn’t like how uncomfortable they felt around each other lately. Every conversation felt forced and that had never been the case in the past. He decided to focus on June for the time being. He took her tiny hand in his own large one. She was too young to be in a hospital bed surrounded by beeping machines and wires. Never in his life had Harry wanted to take someone’s place as badly as he wanted to take his precious little girl’s place in that moment. He would much rather be the one lost in a deep sleep, condition unknown, than sit and helplessly watch one of his children go through it.

 

He slid down the side of the bed and into the chair that Louis had previously been occupying. He tipped his head back against the back and let his eyes drift shut. He was nearly asleep when he heard a sound.

 

“Papa?”

 

Harry’s eyes shot open and he leaned over the bed, his green eyes meeting confused blinking blue ones. “Hey, Junie Bug. I’m right here,” he answered in a quiet soothing tone. He sat down next to her on the bed again and ran his hand through her brown fringe.

 

“Papa, I feel icky,” the tiny voice below him admitted.

 

“It’s okay, love, you might feel icky right now, but you’ll feel better soon, I promise.”

 

“Where am I?”

 

“At the hospital. You fell down and got a boo boo, but the doctors and nurses are going to take care of you and you’ll be good as new.”

 

“Where is Daddy?” 

 

“He’s here. He just had to call Aunt Fizzy but he’ll be back in a few minutes.”

 

June yawned, her face noticeably pale and her pupils too dilated for the amount of light in the room. “I want Daddy here too.” Her voice came out slow, which considering she was Louis’ biological child, wasn’t the norm. She closed her eyes and Harry was unsure of whether he should try to keep her awake or let her rest. 

 

Just as he was about to get up and notify a nurse that his daughter was awake, he noticed some foam coming from one corner of June’s mouth and then just as quickly she started shaking all over. 

 

“June. Junie. Junie!” Harry’s panicked voice rang out as he reached for his daughter, unsure at first of what to do. Finally he came to his senses enough to run to the doorway and shout toward the nurse’s station for help. 

 

A minute later the room was filled with doctors and nurses.

 

“Mr. Tomlinson, could you please step outside into the hall for a few minutes?” A middle aged male nurse asked politely, guiding Harry toward the door. He wanted to scream that no he wouldn’t leave the room, but he also knew deep down he had to give the professionals space to work so he complied. 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

Louis threw his empty cup of tea in the trash as he said goodbye to Harry’s mother and rounded the corner toward June’s hospital room. He had been gone less than twenty minutes but it was clear when he saw his other half pacing the hallway outside of their daughter’s room that something bad had happened in such a short time.

 

“Haz, what’s wrong?” The words rushed out as soon as he spotted Harry.

 

“Junie woke up, said she felt bad, asked for you, and then a second later she was having a seizure,” Harry responded, the worry in his voice obvious. “It happened so quick Lou, and they asked me to leave the room. That was ten minutes ago. What if it’s worse than we thought?”

 

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry from behind, standing on his tip toes he rested his head on Harry’s right shoulder. “Then we’ll take it one step at a time, yeah?”

 

Harry pulled away and took a shuddered breath. “Don’t pull that ‘one day at a time’ shit with me when I know you’re just as scared as I am. She’s our baby, Lou! This shouldn’t be happening to her. What if…?” 

 

The last words remained unspoken as a doctor came out to speak to them. He shook their hands and introduced himself.

 

“Hello Mr. and Mr. Tomlinson. I’m Dr. Mirza. Your daughter had another seizure, not unlike the one she suffered earlier this morning. This can happen as a result of concussion. What we need to do now is observe her for a couple of days to see if this will become a pattern. If she continues to have seizures she will have to undergo more tests and may be diagnosed with epilepsy. Then she would have to take anti-seizure medications, possibly for the rest of her life. We do believe, based on her ability to speak to us after the seizure that there isn’t any cognitive delays caused by the accident which is excellent news. Any questions?”

 

“So she’ll have to stay in the hospital for a couple days?” Louis asked.

 

“Yes. We’ll likely move her out of the intensive care unit to a regular room tomorrow.”

 

“But if she’s okay she can go home with no restrictions?”

 

“Yes, but if she has more seizures we may keep her here longer.”

 

Harry and Louis nodded.

 

“You’re free to go in and sit with her. Please no more than two family members in the room at one time and no children under the age of twelve. No one is allowed to stay past 10 o’clock, even parents, so I advise you both go home and get a good night’s rest tonight. We’ll take good care of June here and will call if she has a seizure or something else happens overnight.”

 

They each shook the doctor’s hand again and offered thanks to him, before returning to their daughter’s side. No words were spoken between them for hours, but Louis could feel a heaviness in the air. Part of it he knew was because of worry over their daughter, but part of it was because of the unresolved argument still hanging over them from the previous night and so many other nights of recent weeks. Their only interactions were when Harry brought Louis some tea and a sandwich from the cafeteria for dinner and when Louis informed Harry that Fizzy would keep Elijah at her flat overnight and take him to school the next day.

 

They arrived home just before 11 o’clock, and made their way upstairs to their bedroom, the bed still unmade from the night before. Silently, they brushed and flossed their teeth, had a wee, and stripped down to their pants before getting into bed. Harry flipped on the telly and stared at the house hunting reality show rerun Louis knew he’d probably seen before.

 

Louis rolled onto his left side as he had done most nights in recent weeks before closing his eyes, trying to push the negative thoughts about his husband and the worries about his daughter out of his mind.

 

Tears threatened to fall when he heard Harry speak a few moments later.

 

“Baby, turn around.”

 

Louis’ breath caught in his throat and he paused for a moment before doing as requested. His eyes locked with Harry’s sad green ones. “Haz—.”

 

“I know,” Harry cut him off. “I know we need to talk. Can’t you just hold me now and we can talk later?” 

 

Louis nodded, scooting up against his husband’s backside and wrapping his arms around him. He nuzzled his nose into the spot where Harry’s neck met his shoulder and inhaled the intoxicating scent that was perhaps more familiar to him than anything else he had ever smelled in his life. He couldn’t even count the number of times they had slept wrapped together in this exact same position over the past eighteen years. It was a place of safety and comfort, always, in good times and in bad. How had they lost that so suddenly? Louis’ stomach felt uneasy at just how quickly they had stopped fighting for their love. The events of the past two days should’ve brought them together.

 

“Tell me our baby girl’s going to be okay,” he whispered against his husband’s neck. A second later he felt Harry’s left hand come to rest on top of his own left hand that was lying flat over the younger man’s chest, their fingers interlaced.

 

“She’s going to be just fine,” were the soft reassuring words he received. “She has to be.” Moments later soft snores left Harry’s mouth indicating he was asleep.

 

Louis felt the too familiar burn of tears behind his blue eyes. His next words were barely a whisper.

 

“Tell me that you still love me.”

 

\---------------------------------------

 

The next day was long and June suffered another seizure early that morning while Harry and Louis were driving to the hospital. She underwent more tests as a result. When she was awake she was able to communicate normally with her fathers, as well as the doctors and nurses which was a good sign.

 

Both of June’s grandmothers had driven down to London from their respective homes in Yorkshire and Cheshire. Harry had been relieved to see his mother, Anne, walk in the hospital room late that morning while Louis had been making some work phone calls in the lobby. After she inquired about her granddaughter’s condition, she turned her attention to her son.

 

“Darling, you look exhausted,” she stated, placing a gentle hand on Harry’s left cheek.

 

“Mum, I’m okay,” Harry protested. “I’m just worried about my child.”

 

“I know, love,” she replied. “Why don’t I stay here with Junie and you and Louis can go out for lunch. I know you could both use an hour or so to relax. You need to eat to keep up your strength.”

 

Harry dropped his head, his eyes focused on his boots. “Thanks, for the offer, but I don’t think Louis will want to leave the hospital.” He hoped his mother wouldn’t press him further. He hoped wrong.

 

“It’s just for lunch, Harry. I won’t leave this room and I’ll call if anything changes.”

 

“I know, Mum, but—,” Harry paused.

 

“But, what?” He looked up to see concern written on his mother’s face.

 

Harry sighed and his voice quivered a little when he finally mustered up the courage to finish his thought. “Louis and I have been having some problems.”

 

Anne sat down in a chair next to Harry and placed a hand on his knee, squeezing it gently. She didn’t say a word but waited for her son to speak.

 

“We’ve—uh—we’ve been fighting a lot.” Harry felt pressure behind his green eyes and he squeezed them shut trying to keep the teardrops from falling. “It’s because of how much I’ve been gone lately for work.”

 

“I’m sure that’s not been easy for Louis or for the kids.” Anne responded.

 

“I know and it’s not like it’s easy for me either, Mum.” Harry raised his voice a little out of frustration. “I want to be here but I also want to work. I love acting. I’m good at it and I guess I wish that Louis would be more understanding of that sometimes. It’s not everyday a great acting opportunity comes along.”

 

“I know, darling.” She squeezed his knee again. “But maybe you need to be more understanding of Louis’ point-of-view too. He’s left to raise two kids, take care of the house, and run your record label by himself. That’s a lot to ask of him don’t you think?”

 

Harry covered his face with his hands, effectively wiping away a couple of tears from his cheeks and muffling his reply. “I know. I know it is. There’s just not an easy answer. I don’t know what to do, Mum.”

 

“If you love each other,” his mother advised, “like I know you both do, then you’ll find a way through this. You’ve made it through so much already. This is just another hurdle in the road that you have to get past, even if you ungracefully stumble past it.”

 

“You think so?” Harry asked, his voice containing a smidgen of hope.

 

Anne smiled and nodded. “I do.”

 

Harry leaned forward and hugged his mother tightly. “Thanks, Mum. You’re the best mother ever.”

 

Anne smiled. “You’re the best son ever. Now go find your husband and at least have some afternoon tea together in the hospital cafe, yeah?”

 

\-----------------------------------

 

Louis tapped his foot repeatedly to the sound of Madonna’s _Express Yourself_ which was playing on repeat in his head for some reason. He was sitting alone, in an armchair next to Junie’s bed. The little girl had fallen back to sleep after eating a few bites of cherry flavored gelatin for dinner. Louis’ mother Jay had went out for a bite to eat with Harry’s mother and Harry had received a phone call from his manager in LA and stepped out into the hallway for privacy. 

 

_Because privacy from your husband is important_

 

He rolled his eyes at the thought, pulled his knees up to his chest in the chair, and settled his chin on top of his knees. Tea with Harry had been awkward to say the least. Neither of them wanted to broach the subject of their relationship. It had clearly been put on the back burner. So they settled for mundane chitchat about the weather, about the goings on around the hospital, and about Niall’s new album that had been released the week before. Making things even more awkward were the constant text messages that Harry kept receiving from his manager, or at least that’s who Harry claimed they were from. Louis wanted to believe that, but with every new text his insides seemed to twist more and more into a gigantic knot. 

 

Dr. Mirza knocking on the door made Louis jump a little. 

 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” the physician asked.

 

Louis shook his head. “No, I was bored actually. Staring into space I think.”

 

“Hospital rooms have the tendency to cause boredom.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Harry walked in and suddenly the doctor was startled, drawing a slight chuckle from Louis.

 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Dr. Mirza said to Harry after laughing a little himself. “I wanted to talk to you both.”

 

“Okay,” Harry responded, moving over to stand near the chair Louis was seated in. His tone was uneasy and Louis knew deep down that Harry was feeling the same nerves that he was every time the doctor came to give them an update.

 

“All of the tests run on June have come back with good results. There’s still no sign of any significant brain damage.”

 

Louis let out a long breath and he felt Harry’s left hand squeeze his shoulder.

 

“We want to keep her in the hospital tonight and tomorrow night and if she doesn’t have more seizures she can go home the day after tomorrow. If there are more seizures before then, we may keep her for longer and we’ll look into medication to treat them. Her vital signs are all good and she is communicating normally, so I think that’s a good sign that she’s healing from the concussion and will be completely back to normal in a few days.”

 

“Still it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Harry replied.

 

The doctor nodded. “That’s why we’re not releasing her just yet. You should both go home and get a good night’s sleep. She’ll be bouncing off the walls in a few days I’d bet.”

 

“Thanks, Doc.” Louis smiled. The doctor gave a quick goodnight and went on his way, leaving Louis and Harry alone in the room with their sleeping daughter.

 

“My baby’s gonna be okay,” Louis confirmed out loud to himself.

 

“ _Our_ baby,” Harry uttered, removing his hand from Louis’ shoulder. “I’m going to go call my mum and fill her in on the news.”

 

Louis watched the younger man leave the room without so much as a glance back.

 

Harry left and Louis wondered how many more times he would come back. All of the knots in his stomach that had loosened by the good news about June had tightened up again. He spent the rest of the evening clutching June’s hand as she slept, holding on to whatever he could in the fear that if he let go he would lose everything.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

The tension during the car ride home was almost as thick as the fog that was hovering just over the road, making it difficult to drive. It was nearly midnight when they walked into their bedroom, the silence deafening. Harry watched the telly, well stared at the screen, while Louis showered, dressed in boxers and pajama pants, and brushed his teeth all with the bathroom door closed. Afterward, they switched and Harry showered quickly and brushed his teeth while Louis was watching an old episode of _Friends_ on the telly. Unlike his husband, Harry chose to forgo the pajamas. Once he exited the loo and walked over to the nightstand in just his pants, he checked the text messages on his phone.

 

“Can’t you put your fucking phone down for once?” Louis asked bitterly from his side of the bed where he was sitting up against the headboard.

 

Harry chose to ignore the bite to Louis' voice. “Sorry, but John keeps relaying messages to me from the studio. They want to know when I’m going to be able to get to LA to shoot my scenes.”

 

“And it takes 300 messages to answer that question?”

 

“Apparently,” Harry answered while typing out a reply on his phone. In his peripheral vision he could see Louis slip out of bed and start to pace on the other side of the room. “I don’t really have an answer and they’re not happy about that.”

 

“Harry, are you fucking someone else?” 

 

Harry’s fingers froze above his phone. His body tensed up.

 

“What did you say?” He didn’t move, wanting to clearly hear Louis’ response. His question was met with silence for a moment before his husband repeated his own question, his voice barely audible.

 

“Are you fucking someone else—in LA?”

 

Harry didn’t move, but his hands started to shake. “How could you possibly ask me that?” he seethed with an anger that was surprising even to him. Even now he refused to turn around and look Louis in the eyes.

 

“I just—you’re always—,” the other man started, stumbling over his words.

 

“No!” Harry beckoned. “Don’t answer that. I’m going to bed.” He pulled back the duvet on his side of the bed, laid down on his right side which faced the wall, and closed his eyes tightly, his hands still shaking. He didn’t want to fight, didn’t want to hear the bitter and painful accusations from his husband’s mouth, and mostly he didn’t want to see the coldness that was surely occupying Louis’ beautiful blue eyes. 

 

Louis didn’t move for a few moments, but eventually got back into bed and switched off the television as well as the lamp on the bedside table. Harry expected him to sleep facing the opposite wall, like he had done many nights over the past month, and tried to do the night before, so it was a shock when he felt Louis’ left arm wrap around his torso, and his chin nestle into the crook of Harry’s shoulder and neck. Facial stubble scratched at the left side of Harry’s face below his ear. Perhaps, Harry thought, that not all was lost if Louis was still willing to spoon after everything.

 

The younger man tried to will himself to sleep for what felt like ages, although in reality it was likely no more than one half hour. He knew Louis was still awake too, because his breathing was unsteady and quiet. He wondered if Louis’ mind was full of angry thoughts about Harry, if his longtime partner was only holding him out of obligation or familiarity. Just as his brain started to get muddled and he felt as if sleep would find him soon, he felt soft kisses along his shoulder, his neck, and up to his temple. He turned to face his husband. Their lips were a mere finger length apart. Moonlight streamed through the window behind him and spread a pale light across Louis’ face. What Harry saw in the blue pools staring back at him was not anger or bitterness, but sadness; fear; confusion; longing. 

 

Love. 

 

“Lou?” he whispered, his voice a raspy mess of emotion.

 

“Haz, please?” he heard his husband quietly plead. “ _Please_?”

 

It had been several weeks since they had last made love, which in years past would’ve been unimaginable, but Harry suddenly realized that it had become the norm in recent months. Now his husband was looking at him, needy, sky colored eyes begging him inside. 

 

He leaned in and their lips met softly, smoothly, like a million times before, but somehow different. Harry ran his hands along Louis’ back and up into his dark still damp hair, and he felt a small hand grasp his hip, just above the waistband of his boxers as they continued to kiss, bodies pressed together. Eventually Louis rolled over onto his back and Harry got to his hands and knees, hovering over him. He pushed Louis’ fringe from his eyes with his fingers. God, he was so beautiful. So pretty. His long gorgeous neck looked too inviting and Harry started to suck lightly above Louis’ right collarbone, all the while feeling himself getting achingly hard. Hands grasped his arse, fingernails digging in through his pants, and he heard small gasps and moans fall from his husband’s mouth. When warm fingers began pushing down on the waistband of his pants, Harry pulled away from Louis’ neck and jaw to pull them off and he followed by doing the same to Louis’ layers of clothing, the other man’s cock springing free. So so hard and so so gorgeous, Harry thought to himself, as Louis, knees bent, spread his legs in front of the younger man. Harry licked a stripe up the underside of Louis’ length and along the tip, and Louis’ hands went up to grasp the headboard above him before Harry took it into his mouth entirely and gently sucked just like he knew his husband loved, his hands grasping Louis’ arsecheeks. 

 

“Stop,” Louis' managed to spit out between moans. “Stop, please.”

 

Harry pulled off, a slight popping sound the result, and peered up at his husband.

 

“Need you inside,” Louis stammered. “Now.”

 

Harry didn’t hesitate. He could feel the urgency in his lover’s voice. Reaching over to the bedside table, he opened the drawer and grabbed some lube. He didn’t bother to even shut the drawer before he twisted off the top of the tube and started applying it to his fingers. He wasn’t often the one doing this. Most of the time Louis would open Harry up and fuck him until he was crying out Louis’ name along with a string of curse words, but this night was different. There was a frailty about his husband that Harry hadn’t seen since the years they were stuck in the closet, and at present all he wanted to do was fill the man he loved with what he so obviously needed.

 

He pushed in the first finger slowly, all while gazing directly into the blue eyes staring up at him. A few moments later he added a second finger, sliding them both in and out slowly, his other hand reached up to play with one of Louis’ nipples. When he added a third finger, Louis’ back arched off the bed yet they never lost eye contact. Once Harry started to hit Louis’ prostate, and the older man started to beg for more, Harry pulled out his fingers and applied the lube to his own cock. Once again he propped himself up and hovered over his husband, their gaze always set on one another as he pushed in slowly, his large length filling up the other man so completely. Louis’ legs wrapped around Harry’s hips and back and his hands reached up and grasped Harry’s biceps, nails digging in, as the younger man started to move in and out slowly. They found a steady rhythm quickly and a chorus of light grunts and moans filled the air around them. Normally they would be kissing, or working on love bites, or seeing how hard and fast they could fuck each other’s brains out, but on this night Harry could only stare, because all he could see in the eyes of the man below him was desperation. Louis was desperate for this and Harry would be damned if he couldn’t make things better. 

 

Eventually their slow rhythm started to get faster and the moans started to get louder. Harry could feel a tightening in his gut that told him he was close to going over the edge. Almost as if on cue, Louis reached down and started stroking his own length between them. Harry dropped his head so that their foreheads were touching, but their eyes were still fixed on one another, searching for something they had almost lost. A second later Louis was coming as he called out Harry’s name. The intensity of the other man’s look and the sound of his name on his lover’s lips was enough to send Harry over the edge as well. 

 

“Lou,” he panted,“I love you.” He cried out as the wave of pleasure rushed through his body. “Fuck. Love you so much.” 

 

And then he saw it. Blue pools full of tears. Tears that soon became sobs slipping from pink lips.

 

Harry pulled out and then gathered his husband into his arms, not worried about the semen now smeared between their torsos. Louis’ hands dug into his back as if he was scared to let go.

 

“Baby, talk to me,” Harry urged, his voice shaking. 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

He couldn’t control it. The sobs kept coming and Louis felt his husband’s strong arms around his back as the younger man rocked him back and forth to comfort him.

 

“S’okay,” he heard Harry whisper into his neck over and over, yet the tears kept flowing. He couldn’t remember the last time he had broken down like this. Before they were even married he reckoned, during what they referred to as The Dark Days.

 

The funny thing was that it wasn’t anything bad that set him off. It was Harry’s declaration of love. It was the look of intense determination in his husband’s sea colored eyes. It was the connection between them that reached all the way to their souls. He felt it. For the first time in a long time he felt it as they came together.

 

After a long while of just crying and rocking, Louis pulled back slightly and grabbed a tissue from the box on the bedside table. He blew his nose, knowing it wouldn’t look very attractive, and forced himself to calm down. Harry sat next to him on the bed, eyes a bit bloodshot, legs crossed, his toes brushing up against one of Louis’ legs. Clearly he was waiting for Louis to say something.

 

He cleared his throat. “So—um—are you going to fly to LA in a couple days if Junie comes home?”

 

The other man shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I mean, the studio can’t just shut down shooting for me. I have a contract to uphold.”

 

Louis nodded with a sniff. He understood contracts all too well. An uncomfortable pause filled the air before he spoke again. “Did you mean it when you said you love me?” His gazed dropped to the bed, unable to look his husband in the eyes.

 

He could feel the other man shift uncomfortably. “Lou, are you doubting my love for you?” His voice broke on the last few words and Louis felt his heart drop into his stomach.

 

Before he knew it, a hand was below his chin and tilting his head up until he was met with sorrowful green eyes again. Louis’ bottom lip quivered as he shrugged in reply.

 

Harry cupped Louis’ face with both hands and moved in close. He could feel the coolness of Harry’s wedding band against his right cheek. “Baby, since the day I met you when I was sixteen I have loved only you. It’s always been just you.” Harry’s eyes appeared to be swimming and Louis could feel the pressure of salty tears in his own eyes too as his husband continued. “And if I lived to be one hundred sixteen it would still be only you. You and our babies. That’s all I’ll ever need.”

 

Tears flowed freely down Louis’ cheeks again. He knew it should be all he needed to hear, but he still couldn’t shake the fear from his mind.

 

“I don’t want you to leave me anymore,” he cried. “I’m sorry Haz. I’m being selfish, I know, but I just want you to stay. Junie’s accident has only made me more aware of how much I need you.”

 

“Lou, I’m not leaving you.” Harry shook his head. “I. Am. Not. Leaving. You.” His voice was deliberately even slower than usual to emphasize every word. “No matter where I’m physically at in the world my heart is still right here.” The younger man reached out and placed his hand over Louis’ thumping chest. “ _You_ are still my home.”

 

Louis reached up and took Harry’s hand in his own. “I love you,” he said, his voice soft and sincere; vulnerable.

 

Harry smiled and leaned in to give Louis a quick but tender kiss. “I love you too,” he replied. “Always.”

 

Louis wiped a tear from his own cheek.

 

“And Lou, we’ll get through this, yeah? Just remember how much shit we’ve dealt with over the years. This is just another roadblock that we’ll find a way to get around.”

 

Louis wrapped his arms around his husband in a tight embrace. Relief flowed through his veins. He had been so stupid, holding his feelings inside, expecting the worst. Now he could see how their own anger and worry and arrogance had kept them from actually communicating with one another. 

 

“C’mon, I’m knackered. Let’s go to sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow,” Louis replied, as he broke off the hug. 

 

Harry smiled and pulled the duvet and sheet up so they both could slip under them, and then Louis felt long arms wrap around him from behind. For the first time in as long as he could remember he was the little spoon and while he knew it was a one night only deal he planned to enjoy it, wrapped up by the man he loved more than life itself and who still loved him just as much.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

“I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam-I-Am,” Louis read, his voice dramatically low. His right arm was wrapped around June, as she leaned into his side on the hospital bed.

 

Harry sat on her other side, holding the book out in front of their daughter to make sure she could see the pictures and both men could read the words. “Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox?” He used a high pitched silly voice as he read.

 

June giggled. Their daughter was feeling much better and Dr. Mirza had assured that she would go home the next morning. Harry was thrilled to see her smiling and see the pink returning to her cheeks. He was even more thrilled to see Louis smiling, like really smiling so that his eyes crinkled, as the three of them interacted. 

 

They were interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

 

“Eli!” June squealed at the sight of her older brother. The boy smiled from ear-to-ear and ran to the bed to join his sister and dads. He climbed up into the bed and they all huddled together in a group hug. Harry saw his mother walk in the room too and their eyes met briefly, just long enough for him to silently communicate his happiness with her. He could tell she was both relieved and overjoyed for not just him, but for all of them. 

 

A few days later he flew out to LA to catch up on filming the show, and he could tell that Louis was fighting himself to be understanding about it, but even so he had given Harry a long slow kiss that begged the younger man to return to him as soon as possible. As it turned out, his lengthy absence from the set cost him his job. The selfish executive producers cared nothing about his family emergency and chose to kill off his character before the end of the season.

 

He was angry about it at first, but it ended up being a blessing in disguise when another role for a BBC show was offered to him soon after, which meant he would be shooting in London, would be home almost every night for dinner, wouldn’t miss Eli’s football games, and on days off from shooting could help out with their label or at home with the kids. Things weren’t always perfect from then on, but they were good. Louis was obviously happier, and actually started looking like he was in his twenties again. Their sex life was revitalized and was better than ever before and Harry felt like a huge weight had been taken off both of their shoulders.

 

One night about six months after June’s accident, after a lengthy love making session, they were cuddled up naked in their bed, Louis’ head resting on Harry’s shoulder, when Louis spoke up. 

 

“Thank you,” he said, his blue eyes glistening as they peered up at Harry.

 

“You don’t have to thank me for the great sex,” Harry joked.

 

Louis slapped him on the arm. “That’s not what I was talking about.”

 

Harry laughed. “Thank me for what?”

 

“For not giving up on us when things were shitty,” Louis answered. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you, Haz.”

 

Harry leaned down to kiss his husband softly. “Same. I couldn’t imagine your life without me.”

 

Louis pulled away with a shocked look and quickly smacked Harry in the head with his pillow. “I think my sarcasm has rubbed off on you too much.”

 

Soon Harry was hitting Louis with his own pillow and an all out pillow fight developed. Moments later they collapsed back onto the bed and turned to face one another, their hands intertwined between their chests.

 

“Seriously. I wouldn’t ever want to live another day without you, Lou,” Harry admitted. “I’m yours. Forever.”

 

“And I’m yours.” Louis smiled. “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Harry and Louis read "Green Eggs and Ham" by Dr. Seuss to June at the end of the story.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading this lil' one shot!! Hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Come follow me on Tumblr @larrysafehaven.


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